Thursday, September 13, 2007

Picky, Picky

My husband is a terribly picky eater. He is worse than our 4-year-old. And he knows it. (And he knows I'm writing this and that I love him anyway!) His biggest fear about being on a diet is all the fruit and veggies he knows he will have to eat. And he doesn't like veggies unless they are deep fried or smothered in cheese. The only fruits he will eat are apples, bananas and the occasional grape. And that's only when he has to. He doesn't like tomatoes, carrots, avocado, peppers, mushrooms, onions, mayonnaise, "picnic food" (potato salad, deviled eggs, hot dogs, etc), bread with the "hard nutty stuff in it," any cheese except American, cheddar, or concession stand nacho liquid.....ok, so you get the idea. Basically, if a kid would love it, so would he. And if it would clog your arteries the moment you ate it, even better.
Why do I bring this up, you ask? Because I love to cook, I love to try new recipes, and I like to eat healthy. I still like pepperoni pizza and macaroni and cheese as much as the next guy, but I also like Chicken Marsala, and stir fried veggies and other many so-called grown up foods. I want to be able to cook something that you can't find on the Chuck E Cheese menu and have him savor every bite and tell me that I'm the most amazing, most incredible woman he's ever met and how did he ever live without my glorious cooking.
What makes it even harder is that he's the sweetest guy ever and he would NEVER complain about something I made or god forbid, refuse to eat it. He would sit and pick 497 onions out of a casserole I had made before he would refuse it. And he always, ALWAYS says "Good stuff, Baby" after dinner, no matter what it is or how many times he had to rinse his mouth out with water between bites. So I will make something and actually find myself almost saying "See? I knew you would like cream spinach if you just tried it!" until I say "How was it?" and he says "It was alright." That's the kiss of death.
As you can imagine, it's hard for us to agree on what constitutes a great meal.
For example, the other night, I tried a new recipe. Quiche. I've always wanted to make quiche and since I don't make brunch, I decided to make it for dinner. So, when he called on his way home from work, the conversation went something like this:
Me: "Hey babe, I just thought I'd let you know I'm making something new for dinner."
slight pause Him: "Oh yeah, what's that?"
Me: "It's chick food."
more pause: Him: "Chick food? What kind of chick food?"
Me: "Well, I thought I'd try to make a quiche."
longer pause: Him: "Oh. Will I like it?"
Me: "It's eggs, bacon, and cheese, what's not to like?" (I didn't mention the spinach, mushrooms and onions I was busy chopping at that very moment.)
Him: "Are the eggs scrambled?" (He only likes scrambled eggs.)
Me: "Of course they else would they be?"
Him: "Ok, well, I'll give it a shot."

Well, you know what? He liked it. I don't think he loved it, but he didn't say "It was alright." He didn't go for seconds and he didn't ask me to wrap it up for his lunch the next day, but he ate it and said he liked it. And guess what else? He has started eating steamed broccoli. And asparagus, as long as it's fresh. With no cheese. Or butter. I'm making progress!!!
At this rate, he should be eating Linguine with Clam least by our 50th wedding anniversary!

You know I love you, Babe. And I'm excited for our "hot date" tonight!!


Lauren said...

Poor and I would weigh 450 pounds if we lived together...I'm all about some mac N cheese!! I do like to cook healthy though (when I cook)

Petie said...

Try the Sneaky Chef:

It's revolutionized my cooking. My picky eater is my oldest child, but the recipes work for anyone. Apparently, she's coming out with a recipe book dedicated to picky men in the Spring.

Anonymous said...

My husband is the same way - he likes everything plain without "junk" mushrooms, onions, peppers, etc. I'm so jealous of the "hot" date!

Anonymous said...

I'm anonymous - I finally figured out how to comment and then I forgot my name! Trish

Josie K said...

You kill me. I just visited your blog for the first time and I swear you're talking about my husband. Maybe your hubby and mine were separated at birth. You had me laughing and when my husband asked me what I was laughing at, I had to share a couple of things you wrote, he laughed and came over and read the rest over my shoulder. Then he said, "Men."