My husband and I are the least romantic people I know. It's not that we don't love each other. We do. And it's not like there aren't romantic feelings between us because, um, well, we have had three kids in less than five years. It's just that we aren't really moonlight and roses people. And even though I've always known that we love each other tremendously, I thought that if we were as in love we professed to be, then surely I would be answering the door wearing nothing but Saran Wrap as a candle-lit dinner of something that took me 4 hours to make simmered on the stove. (I watch a lot of TV.) I just don't think that's us.
We got married on the beach in Playa del Carmen. What could be more romantic than a sunset beach wedding in Mexico? Just about anything else, as it turns out. You see, we went on this trip with my two brothers and their wives. My brothers really like to have a good time. The entire trip was hilarious and fun and exhausting. At an all-inclusive resort. There was an endless supply of Dos Equis and tequila. Let's just say we got our money's worth.
The first night, my husband overestimated his ability to do shots and dance on a bar, and landed himself in bed at approximately 3:00 in the afternoon. When I went up to check on him, I decided to "freshen up" in the bathroom. I sat down on the potty, only to be bucked off onto the floor. It seems that my better half had, uh, spent some time in there earlier and somehow, ripped the toilet seat right off the bowl. No romance that day.
The next day was the day of our wedding. We spent the day on the beach. I think there may have been a couple of drinks (because at an all inclusive resort, you have to drink a lot or it's like they are ripping you off.) At some point, my soon-to-be husband calls out to me from the ocean. "Babe! Can you come get this so I won't lose it?" His wedding ring. Drops. Into the ocean. $400 swept away with the next wave before we even got a chance to have the ceremony. He wore a black and green beaded ring from the gift shop during the wedding.
After the ceremony, we decided to splurge on one of the fancier restaurants in the resort. We had a wonderful dinner, complete with delicious food and a fabulous atmosphere of love and celebration. Apparently, the excitement of the day's events combined with the residual hangover from Day One was too much for some of us. My sweet new husband was in bed before dessert. I spent my wedding night partying with my brothers. Definitely fun, but not the most romantic wedding/honeymoon in history.
And then there was our first Valentine's Day as a married couple. I was determined to make this a Valentine's Day he would never forget. I lit candles all over the apartment. I made him a CD of romantic songs that remind me of him (the millennium version of the "mix tape") and it played softly in the background. I wore a satin red robe with very little underneath (Dad, if you are reading this, nothing happened. I swear.) and I had a fabulous dinner in the oven.
I think he was impressed when he walked in the door. He brought me a beautifully wrapped gift in a big paper bag with tons and tons of tissue paper and I excitedly dug in. He always does so well at thinking of things that I would really want or need and this time was no different. It was a huge set of acrylic paints and brushes because I was making lots of my canvases at the time and never had the right stuff. This was going to be the perfect evening. Come to me, my darling husband.....Wait. Sniff. I smell something strange. Is that.....? OH MY GOD, SOMETHING IS ON FIRE!!!! Turns out, the tissue paper had fallen on one of the candles and now the gift was in flames. Don't worry. The gift was saved. The evening was not.
I think that was our last great attempt at real (TV) romance. It's just not us.
You know what is us? Buying a Nintendo 64 as our first big purchase as a couple and playing it every day before we went to work in the morning. Buying season passes to Six Flags and driving 45 minutes out there and back just to stand in line to ride the new Titan. And drinking beer and ordering pepperoni pizza and watching "Dumb and Dumber" so many times, we have it memorized. Playing blackjack in Vegas for 9 hours and chasing each other through casinos. Eating Oreos in bed. And sneaking beer into a movie theater and making out in the back row. Or hanging an OU/OSU flag in the living room and taunting each other endlessly. And having Texas Hold 'Em Tournaments at our house and having private jokes that no one else gets.
It's not moonlight and roses, but it works for us. I love us.