Monday, September 29, 2008
That reason is: Having a Spouse Who Does Not Believe in Organization.
Let me explain. My husband is not organized. God love him, I think he wants to be. I believe that he sees the virtue in organization. He tries. I've seen him work for hours in his garage, trying to organize, but all that usually happens is that the same stuff is now in neat stacks. It's not any more organized than it was before, it just looks neater. He still has no idea where the hammer or tennis balls are, but dangit, they look nice.
It drives me nuts that he never knows where anything is. I always know where things are. If you ask me where Reese's left Dora shoe is, I will tell you that it is underherbedbecauseshe droppeditduringhernapyesterday. I can find things. Unless HE has touched them. If he has touched something of mine, it's a crap shoot as to whether or not I will ever see it again. Normally, I am ashamed to admit, I speak to him in a rather condescending way on this subject. It's not becoming of me, I realize, but I think I'm right, so I justify it.
Well now, I'm here to apologize for being so rigid in my beliefs and for making him feel bad when he loses my stuff.
This morning, when I couldn't find my keys, I panicked. I woke the kids up later than usual because they were up half the night acting like nut jobs, so I let them sleep in. I decided I would drive rather than walk today. I just assumed that I would grab my keys and walk out the door at 7:35, as usual.
What I forgot was that He had my keys last night after our walk to the tennis courts. He and Rhett came home without the girls and I, so I never saw where he put my keys. This morning, at 7:35 on the dot, I reached for my keys in their regular spot on the counter. Nope.
The only other spot they can be is in my purse. I try not to drop them in my purse because then I have to dig in my purse as I'm walking out the door, but sometimes it happens. Only this morning, they weren't there. I went back to my regular "key spot" on the counter. Still not there. And back to the purse. Nope.
After searching the entire kitchen, I gave up. If they aren't here, they aren't anywhere. Seriously, people. This is where I give up. I can't wrap my brain around something being in the wrong place. And I have three kids and a disorganized husband. So you can see why my brain doesn't work. These people I live with are screwing with me.
So therein lies the problem in being organized: If something isn't where it belongs, I have no idea where to begin looking. I'm at a complete loss. It's like I keep going back to the place where it belongs, just expecting that the object will magically appear there. But it must be here. This is where it goes.
If anyone is home when I am on one of these fruitless searches, I will tell them, 400 times: "(The object) isn't where it belongs. It goes right here. This is why everything has a place."
I bet they hate me.
I finally found the keys IN Aaron's bowl of junk on the counter. I had to put this bowl there because he unloads all of this things in 40 different places in the kitchen and bathroom if I don't. And then he has to spend 10 minutes gathering it all together the next morning. So the bowl is the Consolidation Point for Aaron. (See how condescending that is? God, I can be a witch.)
But I would never check the bowl for my things, because the bowl is for Aaron's things. I would never put my things in that bowl. So my keys would never be in there.
Except that they were. And it only took me 12 minutes to figure that out. Twelve minutes on an otherwise perfectly timed morning. We were almost late. Thankfully, I organize my time pretty well too, so I always leave 5-7 minutes to spare. (I hate how this is making me sound.)
So see? There is such a thing as being too organized. If you are so organized that you forget how to search for lost items, then you are too "together." You need to relax and lose some things to re-train yourself in the art of the search. I plan to test myself today looking for 3 lost socks that have been plaguing me for at least the past 6 cycles of laundry. I will begin by searching in the kids' toy boxes. I know they don't belong there, but that's all part of the testing. Thinking outside the box. Or, in this case, outside the laundry basket.
Hope your Monday is as titillating as mine!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
But I still wanted to see what was going on in the world of politics today. I have the TV on Fox News where they are continuously covering the big bailout deal that is going on. It is a pretty interesting and frightening situation going on, but still, it's getting kind of boring. Just as I was about to zone out and possibly fall asleep, I heard a line on a commercial that made me laugh out loud:
"Seek medical attention for an erection lasting more than four hours."
And then I got a mental picture of a dude walking in to the ER with an, um, excuse me, boner. Then, I couldn't help it; I started picturing all of those boring politicians and reporters on TV with boners that won't go away. All of them, in the ER, yelling for help. "Someone help me! I have a boner with a mind of its own!!"
You should try it. It makes politics much more interesting.
Friday, September 26, 2008
But the other night, I just happened to be walking home from a neighbor's when I heard the ding-a-ling song of the ice cream truck. My kids were inside, getting naked for their baths. I ran in, screamed "Get dressed! The ice cream man is outside!" and grabbed $5.
Even though they missed the ordering experience, the kids were just as excited as I'd hoped they would be. Of course, if your mom ran in the door while you were naked and getting ready for the dreaded bath and bedtime ritual, and screamed "GET DRESSED, YOU GET ICE CREAM!" wouldn't that excite you? I'd think so. (I'm on a 1000 calorie-a-day diet, so if you ran in my house and screamed "Come get ice cream" I'd run out so fast, I probably would forget to even put my clothes back on. Heck, I'd jump out of the shower and into the street dripping wet for some ice cream right now.)
Here's Big Tuna, just sitting and eating. I think he's trying to sit as still and quiet as possible so no one will notice that he has his very own ice cream treat. I'll just sit here silently and eat as much as I can before they realize their mistake and take it away from me.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
At http://www.freerice.com/, test your vocabulary while donating to the hungry. For every vocabulary word you get right, they donate 20 grains of rice to the UN World Food Program. So far I've donated 3060 grains of rice and I'm still going. Is that, like, one bag of Uncle Ben's? Not sure.
My kids are hungry because I'm too busy on the computer to feed them, but the kids of the UN food program will be full of rice!
Enjoy your productive laziness!
And I have a confession to make. It will make me sound like a heartless mother, so prepare yourself....
I'm kind of excited that she's home sick today. Not because I like it when my children are sick, but when it's something virtually harmless like a cold, it's a license to be lazy.
There is no guilt over sitting all day long. Because your baby needs you to be close by in case she needs a refill on juice or a couple of snuggles to make her feel better.
There is an excuse not to "get out and enjoy the beautiful day." You have to stay in and lay around all day. Sure, I could use the opportunity to get some cleaning, laundry, or scrapbooking done. But I probably won't. I mean, what if I was in the bathroom scrubbing the toilet at the exact time Avery needed another cough drop? I would never do that to my child. Plus, if I get too busy, it could possibly inspire busyness in Avery and I need her to be lazy. Lead by example, that's what I always say. Hey, I have my priorities straight.
I also have a stack of magazines that have been begging to be read since they came at the beginning of September. But that's just between us, ok?
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
He didn't resist, unlike Reese, who threw herself to the ground and began shrieking like those crackheads on Cops.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
What it took me days to figure out, is that she is saying "Empty bellies, 'stead of full," which I found out when we were watching Annie for the thousandth time. It's one of the lines from "It's a Hard Knock Life." I don't know why that's her favorite line, but she sings it constantly.
I also don't know why it never fails to make me smile. Maybe it's her voice. Maybe it's because she's just starting to communicate better and do things like copy movies and songs.
Or maybe it's just because I find her so stinking cute.
Friday, September 19, 2008
But not before I railed on all of the kids, telling them to stay out of my cabinets in the bathroom! I cannot find the hairbrush. "This is why I tell you guys to STAY OUT OF MY STUFF."
Avery tries to talk. I tell her "Don't interrupt and don't talk back. It's not just Reese and Rhett. It's all of you!" She mumbles again, looking at my hand. Which is holding the brush I've been looking for for 3 minutes. Poor kids. How will they ever survive?
Because their toys are organized, that's how! Yep, I pulled another Clean House maneuver. I pulled out boxes and bins and went from living room, to kids' rooms to the playroom, boxing up toys. Then I went through them one by one, organizing them by type, location in the house, etc. It took me almost 4 hours, but it is a glorious feeling. Every toy has a place. I threw away two boxes of junk. Another bag is going to Avery's teacher for the "Treasure Chest." (She really wants it, she told me.)
So the day is turning around. I'm taking Reese for her lunchtime favorite, "Chicken and Coke" because she helped me clean. Or at least that's what she says. I only remember her putting the Dirt Devil pretend vacuum in her room. In the wrong spot. But whatever.
It's going to be a great day. I may not be able to eat anything, but we're going to enjoy ourselves.
Unless one of these rugrats steals my stuff again...
EDITED at 10:50 a.m.: It's a GREAT day. I just got flowers! My sweet husband was "just thinking about me." Yeah, I'm bragging.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Once upon a time there was a little red hen who scratched about the barnyard until she uncovered some grains of wheat. She called her neighbors and said 'If we plant this wheat, we shall have bread to eat. Who will help me plant it?'
"Not I, " said the cow.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Not I," said the pig.
"Not I," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen. And she did. The wheat grew tall and ripened into golden grain. "Who will help me reap my wheat?" asked the little red hen.
"Not I," said the duck.
"Out of my classification," said the pig.
"I'd lose my seniority," said the cow.
"I'd lose my unemployment compensation," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen, and she did.At last the time came to bake the bread. "Who will help me bake bread?" asked the little red hen.
"That would be overtime for me," said the cow.
"I'd lose my welfare benefits," said the duck.
"I'm a dropout and never learned how," said the pig.
"If I'm to be the only helper, that's discrimination," said the goose.
"Then I will," said the little red hen.
She baked five loaves and held them up for the neighbors to see.They all wanted some and, in fact, demanded a share.
But the little red hen said, "No, I can eat the five loaves myself."
"Excess profits," cried the cow.
"Capitalist leech," screamed the duck.
"I demand equal rights," yelled the goose.
And the pig just grunted.
And they painted "unfair" picket signs and marched round and around the little red hen shouting obscenities.
When the government agent came, he said to the little red hen, "You must not be greedy."
"But I earned the bread," said the little red hen.
"Exactly," said the agent. "That's the wonderful free enterprise system. Anyone in the barnyard can earn as much as he wants. But under our modern government regulations productive workers must divide their products with the idle."
And they lived happily ever after, including the little red hen, who smiled and clucked, "I am grateful, I am grateful." But her neighbors wondered why she never again baked any more bread.
(Author unknown, but very smart).
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Friday, September 12, 2008
The last one I had up was the So Cool Mom t-shirt. I loved their shirts, they sent me a free one and I told you guys about it. That's it.
This ad is no different. I won't make any money off of it, but I did get a free product to try. I was only to write about it IF I liked the product. And guess what? I LOVED IT!
If you know anything about me at all, you know that I love, love, love spa stuff. I love massages, facials, makeup, skin care products. I love it all. I spend lots of time and money at places like Sephora trying to find eye creams and masques that will reduce wrinkles and make my skin look young again. It's probably my biggest vice. If anything ever puts us in the poor house, it will be my attempt to buy my way to beauty. (The irony of it is, I rarely put on makeup or fix my hair, so I'm not sure what I plan to do with all of the makeup and hair care products in my bathroom.)
I recently have noticed that my elbows are disgusting. Like, totally. They are all cracked and have these weird bumps on them. Someone suggested that they were warts. I decked that person between the eyes. Afterward, I began to wonder. Were they warts? And if so, what in the heck do I do?
I've used a body masque before, but it was a long time ago and I couldn't remember what it was. So I went online and did a search. I'm not exactly sure where I found this information, but it was a Trilogy Face and Body Masque. And they offered free samples if you pay shipping and handling.
Free samples pretty much make my head spin, so of course, I jumped right on that. I got the samples within a few days and used them immediately. The one thing I wish that I had done was to only use it on my face. Since I just had two small containers and one big body, I had to use all of the sample product in one use. Not smart. I would recommend that you only use it on your face or a specific problem area to test it for a couple of uses to make sure you like it before you buy.
Anyway, I liked it. It seems that it's either a MLM or a small business, because the owner, Kristina, contacted me rather quickly, asking if I had any questions. She also followed up via email to see if I liked the product. I told her about my one use only issue and that I wasn't sure if I loved it. When I said I wasn't interested in selling anything, she didn't pressure me. In fact, she hasn't mentioned that idea at all. We discussed my blog, she visited it and we agreed that she would send me the small, full-sized product so I could test it further. If I liked it, I would write about it. If not, I wouldn't.
I tried it first on my whole body. You gotta know that's a LOT of product. And it was a bit odd. I stood in my bathroom, totally nude, covered in mud, reading Prevention magazine. I felt ridiculous. Even more so when Avery walked in and said "Whoa Mom, you look totally rotten!"
After the first use, I didn't think I noticed a big difference. Until I put on my night cream and body lotion. Oh.My.God. My skin was so soft. So soft that later, when I was laying with Reese, she rubbed my arm and said "You skin feels so good, Momma." I am not making that up.
I decided to use it one more night before I wrote about it. Soft skin alone is not a reason to buy a big-ass tub of mud. So I used it again last night. Guess what? The funky, wart-like bumps on my elbows are gone.
I checked out the website...there are claims that it will reduce cellulite. I haven't used it long enough to vouch for that, and to be honest, I doubt I will. I would rather save it for my face and chest and arms because it's about to be winter and I can hide my fat ass in pants and since I won't be getting any more freebies, I gotta conserve product.
Many of the women on the website said they use it nightly and people ask if they have gotten a face lift. I've only used it twice, so no one has said that to me, but I will sure let you know if they do.
I suggest that you visit www.SkinCareMasques.com and order some free samples, just to try it. If you love being pampered and standing around in your bathroom naked, covered in mud, this is the product for you!
Seriously, it does rock...and Kristina is SO helpful and friendly...she'll answer all of your questions in a timely manner...check it out!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Last night was a good time. Sarah Palin, the VP candidate running with John McCain spoke for the first time. She was amazing. Even the ultra-liberal media agreed. Now, I realize that her speech was written for her and she has yet to prove herself in a debate or off-the-cuff press questioning situation, but wow. She was awesome.
I have had trouble with this year's election for several reasons. First of all, I'm not ultra-conservative in my life. I know abortion and homosexuality are sins in God's eyes, but I really don't know that I think the government should be involved in making those choices for people. I know that it doesn't affect or hurt me in any way if someone chooses to be gay or if gay marriage becomes legal. I know I don't think it's fair if someone does decide to be gay but their partner is not allowed in a hospital room with them because they aren't "family." I also know that I don't want to force a woman to have a baby if she desperately doesn't want it. I think we've all seen the results of unwanted pregnancies. In fact, in the book, Freakonomics, they go so far as to suggest that the decline in crime in the 90's had nothing to do with law enforcement, but actually as an indirect result of the Roe v. Wade decision in the 70's. Meaning that, since abortion was made legal in the 70's, there weren't a bunch of unwanted children who would be of crime-committing age in the 90's. Maybe it's true, maybe it's not, but I found it interesting.
Anyway, I'm not trying to start a debate here. I'm just saying that I don't feel like a right-wing conservative. However, I do normally vote Republican. And yeah, that means I voted for W. And I'm not embarrassed about that. I know he's made tons of mistakes and has a low approval rating, but I'm also smart enough to know that most of his decisions were not made exclusively by him. I'm also informed enough to know that this Democratic Congress has an even lower approval rating than Bush. The lowest in Congressional history, in fact. So it ain't just W making mistakes up there.
I normally feel comfortable voting Republican because, even though I live a fairly non-conservative life, I don't want to live in a non-conservative country. I'm not a fan of the socialist movement. I don't think it's realistic and I don't think it works. I think it sounds good to the very rich because it makes them feel less guilty for being rich. And I think it sounds good to the very poor because let's face it...they just don't want to be poor anymore. And I don't blame them. But I would like to be able to help them of my own volition rather than the government taking more of my money so that they can decide who gets it and who doesn't. And I damn sure don't want the government in charge of my health care.
Saying that, I felt torn this year. Obama was the first Democratic candidate who hasn't made me want to vomit. I actually thought "Hey, this guy is the one who will bring everyone together." I hate party rhetoric. I hate it. I hate that some people will stick by a person based on their party affiliation rather than their beliefs. And I refuse to be that ignorant. I want to learn about someone and vote based on what they believe rather than what letter comes after their name. So I've been paying attention.
I've been nervous about McCain. People make fun of him a lot for being old. But here's why I like him: The Republican base (ultra conservatives) don't like him much. They think he's too liberal. Well, I'm too liberal for that base. And I'm glad he's not a staunch, stuffy old conservative. I think he's just right for my taste. Conservative and Republican on important issues like the economy, energy and terrorism. But not overly conservative on the issues of gay marriage and abortion. That's my style.
But until last night, I was still torn about who would be best. And then Palin came out. Dang, that girl is awesome. She is so small town, down-to-earth and funny. I love her! I am so excited to vote Republican this year...finally, it's not so much about voting AGAINST one ticket as it is voting FOR another.
Whoever you are voting for, you can't say this election has been boring. It's not "business as usual" on the political front and it makes it fun. Ok, maybe not fun like dancing on tables or partying until 3 a.m., but for a 36-year-old suburban mother of three, it's all I can handle these days!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
And those are the two in the stroller. Imagine me, 30 pounds overweight, pushing 60 pounds of kid in a double stroller four and a half blocks. In the hot, humid 100+ degrees Texas weather. Ick.
But I'm happy to report a slight change in our weather this morning. It was cool enough that the girls wore a jacket. It was a wonderful walk to school. The walk home? Still nice and cool...because it started raining. So today, I'm a bit less sweaty than usual. Now I just smell like a wet dog. Gotta love that Texas weather!