No, I'm not sorry. What do I have to be sorry for? Ok, probably lots of things, actually, but that's not the reason for my post.
I was watching a Dr. Phil episode yesterday afternoon...maybe it wasn't yesterday's episode, maybe it was. I have a bunch recorded and just watch them willy nilly whenever I feel like it. Ok, so, whatever date it originally aired, as usual, there were some people feuding. Not just arguing, but feuding -I'm not sure what the difference is. Ask Dr. Phil.
Anyway, what I learned from yesterday's show were two things I've always suspected, but was thrilled to have confirmed by Dr. Phil. And as we all know, if Dr. Phil said it, it must be true. (I kid. Sort of.)
The two things I learned are this: Admitting you're wrong, especially after a long period of time has passed, is one of the hardest things in the world for a person to do; and there is a right way and a wrong way to say I'm sorry. Dr. Phil outlined it a bit yesterday, so I thought I'd share...I know none of you want to be going around making inappropriate apologies. And you know you've gotten some. You know the ones....the words "I'm sorry" did come out of the person's mouth, but with every fiber of your being, you know they didn't mean it. And if they had the nerve they would have probably said "I'm sorry....sorry that you are such a turdface that you are forcing me to apologize."
So here we go with some examples...if you don't like it, see Dr. Phil. This is his area of expertise, I'm just the messenger.
Right way: I'm so sorry I hurt you. I feel so bad. Wrong way: I'm sorry you were hurt.
Right way: I never meant to upset you. I'm sorry. Wrong way: I'm sorry you took it the wrong way.
Right way: I was wrong. I'm sorry. Wrong way: I don't know what I did to make you so upset, but I'm sorry you are upset.
Right way: I'm sorry Wrong way: Well, soooorrrrry (in a sing song voice like when you were 12...Dr. Phil didn't say this one, but I thought it was important to mention.)
What was so funny to me, watching yesterday's show, was how hard it was for some people to get. This lady kept saying "I'm sorry...I still don't think I did anything wrong, but I'll say I'm sorry if that's what it will take to make this all go away." She never got it. Some people never do.
Ok, so this was a weird post, I admit. I just had to clarify a few things. And if it makes any of your lives easier, all the better.