I think I've secretly known this all along. I joke about it sometimes "Oh, I'm so white trash, hee hee," but I don't really think I am. Well, yesterday sealed the deal. I'm embarrassed, but apparently, too white trash to keep it under wraps, so I'll tell you about my day.
First of all, we are all sick. Not sick, sick, but coughing, snotty, up all night sick. And our nights are miserable. So the mornings are even worse. I can barely drag myself out of bed. And yesterday was a school day for Ave. When my alarm went off, I was so exhausted, I laid there, trying to think of a good reason for her to miss school. I just felt like I couldn't face getting them all dressed, getting myself ready, feeding them a good breakfast, packing them all in the car, then dragging everyone inside to drop Avery off in her classroom. I just didn't want to do it. So I tried to justify my feelings. She probably didn't get any more sleep than I did. Her cough is probably still bugging her (she is the most not sick of all of us.) She's only four and she's really smart, what's one day going to hurt? So I shut off my alarm. I just decided that I would sleep until they woke me up and I wouldn't even tell her she was missing school. Letting your kid miss school so you can sleep in is soooo white trash. I never imagined I would be that mom. I can just hear Avery now "I had to miss school because my mommy was so tired and she didn't want to get out of bed." Sounds like that movie, "When a Man Loves a Woman," like I'm hungover or something and can't function as a mom.
So anyway, the girls saved me from myself and came and got me soon after the alarm was turned off. So I drug myself out of bed and did all my motherly duties and took Ave to school. And she even looked cute and had her hair brushed. I dropped Reese off at the neighbor's so I could run by the grocery store on the way home without having to deal with an unruly 2-year-old covered in snot and we were on our way.
But I wasn't finished letting my inner white trash show. I remembered on my way home that I have Bunco Friday night. And we have to bring our own drinks. I know I probably shouldn't be drinking since I have this cough and stuff, but it might make me feel just a bit better to have a little fun and numb the pain just a tad. And there's a liquor store right around the corner from Avery's school. And I only had one kid with me, so I may as well stop and get my lime flavored vodka (it's not as strong as regular vodka, that's why I like it.) So I pull in to the parking lot and have another great debate with myself. Do I leave Rhett in the car with the windows cracked and run in? It's just right here. What is worse? Taking a baby in their car seat inside a liquor store or leaving him in the car? It's cool outside, so overheating isn't a problem. What should I do? I could just forget about the vodka, but I do still have to bring drinks tomorrow night and tomorrow I will have all three kids, so I won't be able to do THAT. I called my neighbor for advice...she said it would be ok to just leave him for 5 minutes with the windows cracked since it was a small store and I could see the car. And I did it. I ran inside, hurrying, with my eyes darting out the window looking for cops as if I was inside a crack house buying my daily fix. A cop did drive by while I was paying and I wonder if the clerk thought I was underage because I kept staring at the police car and I was so nervous I forgot to sign my debit card receipt.
I sprinted out of the store with my brown paper bag, jumped in the car, where Rhett was totally fine and sleeping soundly. I breathed a huge sigh of relief and reflected on the morning's decisions. This isn't good. I'm going down a road I really don't want to travel. I need to get myself together and be a decent mom. My white trashness needs to stop involving these poor children. Next thing you know, I'll be on the front porch, holding the baby in one hand, Colt 45 can in the other, with a cigarette hanging out of my mouth. I gotta stop.
So, I came home, made Reesie some popcorn, snuggled with her and Rhett on the couch, then organized my bathroom cabinets, picked up Avery from school and spent all evening trying to make the kids forget what a loser I can really be. They didn't seem to notice. Even when, at one point, we were all in our underwear, eating "party food" for dinner because Daddy wasn't home. Dang, these kids are easy to fool/please.