Thursday, October 25, 2007

Diary of a Bad Mommy (Volume 3)

Ok, my previous "bad mommy" posts have kind of been a joke. I normally don't really think I'm a bad mommy. Like most moms, I have my days where I doubt myself or think I'm really not cut out for the job, but in general, I think my kids hit the jackpot. Ok, maybe not the jackpot, but at least three in a row on a scratch off ticket.
But today, I'm serious. I am a bad mommy. A bad, bad, bad mommy. This post is not a joke, it is a confession.
Have you heard about the Bumbo seat recall? My good friend emailed me an MSNBC article saying that the seats had been recalled due to babies fracturing their skulls from falling out of them. I couldn't believe it! I honestly thought it might be an internet hoax.
Do you remember seeing my sweet baby boy in a Bumbo? I love the thing and so does he. It allows him to sit up and watch everything going on around him. He can see his sisters laughing, fighting, and generally being total loons. It's a godsend now that he's eating cereal because it wipes clean. It's made of a flexible foamy-type material and it wraps around Rhett and holds him snugly in place. I will admit, I've come to rely on it as kind of a babysitter at times. He can't go anywhere in that thing. Or so I thought.
The recall is due to babies falling out of the seat onto their heads, in most cases from a high point, like a kitchen table or counter while the parents' heads were turned. Dear God, forgive me for what I am about to say (although You, being God, you were already aware of this). I have done this. I hate myself for it, but I have done it.
As I read the recall articles online, I came upon some comments. Here are just a few:

"There is nothing wrong with the Bumbo. There IS something wrong with idiot parents who use this thing as a babysitter instead of watching their kid."
"Why in the heck did a company recall a product that CLEARLY states that children are not to be left unattended? I'm so frustrated with idiots who sue a company because of their own negligence. The parents' right to have kids should be recalled."
"If a parent is retarded enough to put their child in a Bumbo on a table or counter, then they deserve to have their own skull fractured." (ouch)
Ok, so I have put him on the table. I'm usually there with him, but I won't lie. This is a confession and I will purge my soul here and now. I have put him up there while I was making dinner or getting his food ready. I have even left him sitting there while I puttered around the kitchen and living room, doing little chores. I've never actually left the room, but I am one of the idiot, retarded parents who apparently deserve to have my skull fractured because I am too stupid to live.
Can I just agree to never do it again, promise not to sue anyone but myself if I am stupid enough to actually do it again, and then be forever cleansed of my sins and forgiven? Or do I have to burn the Bumbo in a ceremonial "Mommy sucks" bonfire in the trash can, fracture my own skull on the driveway on my way back in, and let Rhett give me wedgies and wet willies every day of my life from now on? How about this just be forever written on my list of colossal mommy mistakes? I keep this list in my mind and it's getting mighty long. This latest infraction goes just above pinching Avery's legs in the car seat latch, not realizing it, and driving for 15 minutes wishing she would just stop crying and go to sleep.
God help these poor children.


Patricia Stuever said...

OH Dodo don't beat yourself up we all do stupid things sometimes. I have a bag of Thomas trains in a box I haven't sent off AND I need to go dig out that Go Diego Go boat they recalled yesterday....ugghhhh I'm so tired of sending things back! I wouldn't send the bumbo back just don't put it on the counter ;) I wanted one but we bought a regular seat instead. And Tommy'd be crawling out of it anyway.

M said...

Hey girl after hearing and seeing the stuff I see 4 days a week at work you are by far an outstanding, award winning mom. These idiots don't even realize their babies have skulls much less worry if they are going to injure them. Forgive yourself, give your kidos a kiss, and thank God for blessing you with the parenting skill lots of whack jobs never got!
love ya!!!!

Your Favorite Sister said... know you are a great mommy and your children are VERY lucky!!! I fell in love with the Bumbo....I am curious what your pulse is right now though...I will emailing about that later.