Thursday, April 17, 2008


I like to talk. A lot. My sister says my mom and I can yammer away for hours about nothing. I love to have a long gab session with Mom or a girlfriend when I'm not busy. I've always assumed that whoever was on the other end of my conversations was enjoying themselves as much as I am. However, something has been happening recently that has made me wonder if I'm annoying to everyone and they are all just too nice to let me know.
Let me clarify. No one has said or done anything to me that makes me think I talk too much. But I recently gave my number out to a lady who does, in fact, talk too much, and it's driving me crazy. She is a parent of one of the kids at Avery's school and she's very nice and she asked for my number in case one of us needed something on a school morning or something. Sometimes, if the weather is bad, we watch each others' kids in the car while the other takes her child inside. That way we don't have to get all the little ones out in the rain/cold. Here's the problem: She calls me EVERY school morning. I'm always in a rush to get all three kids fed, dressed and ready to go, and I use my drive time to run down the checklist to make sure I haven't forgotten anything and to talk with Avery about the day. I don't like to spend all my time on my cell in the mornings. I like to talk with her and get her prepared for the school day.
Apparently, this lady does not feel the same way. It's not that she calls that bugs me. It's the fact that she NEVER SHUTS UP that drives me nuts.
Let me give you an example. And then you can tell me if I'm as bad as this lady.
This morning, I overslept. So we were in a hurry. I got all the kids dressed and fed, but I took my banana in the car with me and was eating while I drove. I didn't really have a hand free for the phone, so when the phone rang, I debated about not answering. But I would feel terrible if she really needed something and I didn't answer. She would never do that to me. So I answered. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hello?
Her: Hey there, lady. How are you this morning?
Me: Oh, fine. Just running behind, as usual.
Her: Ha ha. Well, I was just calling to tell you that I meant to bring you those books I told you about and I didn't really forget, but I left them sitting on the table. So I don't have them.
Me: Oh, that's fine. I'm reading something right now anyway, so I don't need anything new.
Her: Well, I'm thinking I'll give you 1-5 and then when you get to 5, you can let me know and I'll bring you the rest.
Me: Ok, that's fine.
Her: I don't have the sequel done yet because I'm reading it now. And I have a hard time putting it down, it's so good.
Me: Oh, don't worry. I can't read that many books all at once anyway.
Her: I mean, like last night. I so wanted to read, but I just took some medicine and went to bed.
Me: Silent. I know where this is going. My banana sits on my lap, open, getting banana junk all over my pants, but I can't drive, hold the banana and hold the phone. I wait.
Her: My periods just hit me so hard. I mean, it wasn't like this when I was younger. I was totally normal back then. I mean, sometimes I had cramps, but nothing like this. This is just terrible. So alot of the time, I take medicine at bedtime and it just knocks me out.
Me: I know what you mean. (I don't, but whatever)
Her: Like, one time, me and _____ (husband) were supposed to go on a trip and I had to back out at the last minute because it was so bad. My sister was all ready to watch the kids and she was afraid she'd have to take me to the ER, I was in so much pain. But I've had my gynocologist check it out and she says there's nothing wrong. I just don't understand. It's so hard with all these kids. And then, this morning, ______(Husband) was home because he was going in late and that gets me all of schedule. Like, he had the Swiffer out because someone tracked in mud and I'm like, Hey, I'll get it done later, but he keeps doing it...

And then, I pulled up next to her in the parking lot and she laughed and kept talking. I said "Do you know I'm right beside you?" She said she did. I was like "Um, do you want to go in first or do you want me to go?" She said "Ok, I'll go in..." and finally hung up. SHeesh.

Ok, have you had enough? See what I mean? Please tell me I don't do this. Please tell me that if I call you to tell you I forgot your books, I would just say "I'll get them to you later" and be done with it unless you asked me about them. Seriously? Do I call you 10 minutes before I am going to see you and tell you something I could tell you in 10 minutes and then end up talking about my period and my husband with the Swiffer? DO I? If I do, I'm going to go on silence for the next week. I cannot imagine making my friends suffer this way and if I do this, please, please tell me. Lauren this excludes you. I know you think I talk too much, but I personally think you don't talk enough, so there!

p.s. As far as I know, this lady knows nothing about this blog and would not have any reason to happen upon this. I wouldn't intentionally hurt someone and I would hope and pray that she would NEVER read this.

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