Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Momma's Boy

No, I'm not talking about my husband. I'm talking about this guy.

He is such a Momma's boy. Maybe all little boys are like this with their moms when they are babies. I don't know, because I have only had girls until now. But he is crazy about me. I don't say that in a boastful way, but if I'm being honest, that's just the way it is. It goes beyond anything the girls and I ever had. If I walk into the room and I don't pick him up immediately, he is mad. If I set him down to, God forbid, get something done or tend to one of his sisters, he is mad. If I'm sitting next to him on the floor, he is touching me. Even if it's just one, chubby little mitt. He's touching me. He touches my face and "kisses" me. He gives me little love bites on my nose with his two new razor-sharp teeth. He grins and laughs when I look at him. If his daddy is holding him, he's looking at me. Usually laughing, sometimes looking at me through tearful eyes, as if to say "Mommy, why aren't you holding me? Don't you love me at all?" It's pitiful. And I love it. I don't know if I've ever had someone love me with such devotion. It's amazing. I'm in Heaven whenever I see this kid.

EXCEPT AT NIGHTTIME. Oh my goodness. If our days are Heaven on earth, then nighttime is our Hell. Seriously, people. This kid can't stand to be in there alone. If I put him in there awake (like you are told to do by all the parenting experts), he screams bloody murder the second I set him down and he realizes I'm leaving. If I rock him to sleep (a supposed no-no), he wakes about 10 minutes after I put him down and the screaming begins. I leave him for 5 minutes then go get him. (And, for the record, the intense screaming stops as immediately as it started, telling me that this is a spoiled fit, not a hurting or scared fit. Sometimes it stops just when I walk in the room and speak to him.) Calm him, put him back down, this time leaving him to scream for 10 minutes. Go back, calm him, put him back and leave him for 15 minutes. I have found that 15 minutes is my limit. I can't stand to leave him for any longer than that. The first 2 minutes I'm usually fine, but the last 3, 8, or 13 minutes are excruciating for me. I hate it. But how else is he going to learn to sleep in his own bed? He does the same thing during the day, but he doesn't usually cry as long and it's easier to leave him when I'm not lying in bed, listening to the screams.

I have a little light on in his room just in case his problem is a fear of the dark. It's not. I've tried music and a humidifier, just in case the problem is too much quiet. It's not. The problem is that he's a Momma's Boy. Last night, as with every night, after the last 15 minute crying spell and when I've reached my own point of exhaustion, I go get him. He was snotty and gagging and didn't seem to be any closer to sleep, so I gave up. I understand that Dr. Phil would say "Well, common sense would tell us that if he knows you are going to get him, he'll cry until you go get him." I get it, Phil. But last night, he went to bed at 7, and I finally gave up and brought him to my bed at 11:00. It's not like I'm giving in so easily. But it seems to me, that he will always win. And as much as I love his obsession with me, it irritates me that we can't come to some sort of compromise on this bedtime deal. Like, he sleeps a good 8 hours in his own bed and I'll snuggle him as much as he wants the next day. Last night, I was determined not to let him win. And then, when O'Reilly was over, and my eyes were so heavy-lidded I could barely see, I decided I had had it. I told him exactly what I thought about his spoiled, Momma's boy fits, and that I wasn't going to put up with it anymore. After tonight, that is. After all, we're about to spend 5 days in Oklahoma where he'll be forced to sleep with me anyway, so it'd be like starting all over again when we got back. So what's the difference?

And folks, trust me. I know two things for sure. One, I know I'm getting myself in trouble here. I chose to let my oldest sleep with me a lot when she was a baby and she still, at four years old, asks if she can sleep with us every night. We don't usually let her (usually), but she still wants to, every night. I know that's what this is leading to.

And two, I also know that one of these days, he won't let me kiss him anymore. He'll be too embarrassed to let his momma love on him in public. He'll be a big, stinky boy with better things to do than sit in his momma's lap. Then he'll move away and marry some cute girl and I'll only see him twice a year. So, while I'm not going to quit trying to get this bedtime thing right, if he does end up sleeping with me for a while, it won't be the worst thing in the world. Right? Right? Please tell me I'm right. (Mom, if you are reading this, I know you don't think I'm right so don't bother answering.)

Men. They start driving us crazy early, don't they? You love them to distraction and what do you get in return? Sleepless nights and frustrated rants about their impossible behavior.


Aunt La-La said...

Ahhhhhh I think it's perfect that he wants you so much....I hope he thinks I look similar enough to you this weekend to let me snuggle with him!! Aunt La-La needs to hold that chunky monkey...He is so adorable!! I am excited to see you guys in 2 days!!!

Cort's mommy said...

OH i see nothing wrong with it! Why change things up with the last one! haha
Cort was sleeping on my chest until this week, we are working on sleeping the bassinet next to me!
And I totally agree with you on Momma's boy's its the best thing in the WORLD!!!

The Wades said...

Hi. I found your blog from Ree's. Too cute! Your little guy looks adorable! I have not experienced the sleep problems you explained, but I knew a woman who absolutely SWEARS by the Ferber method. Have you ever tried it or heard of it? She has four little ones, two of which were awful, terrible sleepers. She did that book and said it changed her life! You might check it out. Wow, a bunch of advice from someone you don't know, whom you didn't ask. It just occured to me to tell you, so I thought I would. If you plan on having any more, PLEASE try Babywise. It is amazing! It teaches kids to sleep thru the night by around two months. I used it on all four of mine. It is something I always buy for news mothers. Ok. I'll stop now. Good luck and Merry Christmas. :) (and please forgive my nervy comments!)