Monday, December 31, 2007

Diary of a Bad Mommy (Volume 4)

I was so productive it was almost scary last week. We had bags upon bags of luggage, presents and laundry from our round trip to Oklahoma. After a day of complete rest (sloth) on Christmas Day, I woke the next day with an unshakable resolve to clean my house from top to bottom. It took almost one whole day just to unpack and get the laundry to a point where we could walk into the closet without climbing a mountain of underwear. The next day was Cleaning Day. I began with dusting and followed with bleach, Soft Scrub, and toilet cleaners. I got the vacuum out of the toy closet and went to work. As I came down the hall, I noticed I had left the closet door open. I hate doors left open. So, I shut the door and resumed my vacuuming fervor. I had completed all but Rhett's room, where he was sleeping, so I decided to take a short break. I came in and sat with Avery for a bit. We had been chatting about magic tricks and how Santa had, in short, ripped her off this year, when I asked her where her sister was. "Upstairs," she said. I assumed she was right, but after a minute, decided I should probably check on her. After all, she is two years old and can find trouble just about anywhere. "REESE!" I called to her from the bottom of the stairs. No answer. I went to her room. Nope, not there. I checked Rhett's room, ready to throttle her if she was in there waking up her baby brother, as she does so very often when I'm busy. Not there either. I called for her as I walked from room to room and thought I could hear a small cry. Upstairs. Ok, she is up there, just wouldn't answer. Typical. I run upstairs to tell her she needs to always answer Mommy. Except that she isn't upstairs. Hmmmm....the small cry again. Where in the world can she be? I checked my closet. No. I start to panic just a bit. Where in the world can she be????

And then, my heart falls into my feet as it hits me. The closet door, left open after I removed the vacuum. The toy closet. Oh no, please don't let her be in there...please, please, please....

Oh, God love her. She was stuck in the closet for at least 15 minutes, if not longer. Bless her little heart.
Oh, Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I left you in here and didn't even notice you were missing until I finished vacuuming. I'm so sorry you are still sitting here, scared and miserable, while I take your picture. I'm going to pick you up and snuggle you right now. Wait, one more.

"Mother, please. Please pick me up and love on me. I'm scared and alone and I need you to snuggle me." Ok, sweetie. Mommy is sooo sorry. You can have all the candy and sweets you want today. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And I'm adding $1000 to your adult therapy account right now. Did I mention that I was sorry?

After this heart-wrenching incident, you'd think I would be on full alert all day, never wavering in my duties as mother. You'd think I wouldn't let one of them out of my sight for even a second. You'd think.

But look at this one. I can't even pay attention to him long enough to get him a dadgum Kleenex. Please don't call Child Protective Services. I really do try. And I promise, my New Year's Resolution is to become Mother of the Year next year. Ok, maybe not Mother of the Year. But at least maybe Mother of the Day. One day. Ok, really, it's just going to be Mother-Who-Doesn't-Neglect-Her-Children. No more locked closets. No more snotty noses. Ok, well, no more locked closets. I promise. I think. I'll try. That's it. My New Year's Resolution is "I'll Try." And I will. I promise. I think.


amy said...

Oh Dodi...I'm crying this is so funny...I needed this, I'm sitting here at work ready to go home on new years eve. I love that you had to snap pics before picking her up!!

Cort's Mommy said...

oh my it made my heart drop to my stomach reading this! Poor baby! Poor You i know you felt horrible.

Anonymous said...

love to be in there with her, use her little p---y and teach her to suck c--k