Wednesday, February 13, 2008

I Will Not Be Happy

I will not be happy or think positive thoughts today. Even though I have many, many, MANY reasons to be thankful and happy with my own life, I won't admit it. Even though there are tons of people in the world who have so many terrible, sad things going on in their life, for today, my life is terrible. Do you want to know why? I'm going to tell you anyway.
First of all, my alarm was set for 5:30. I needed to run this morning because my husband is out of town tonight and I won't be able to go tomorrow. But since my allergies were so bad last night before bed, I took a Benadryl. Apparently, the reason it helps with allergies is because you slip into a coma and therefore, don't realize you have allergies. So no running outside. Which means treadmill. 45 minutes of mind-numbing wall-staring running. Ugh. Be thankful I am fortunate enough to have a treadmill when some people don't even have running shoes? Or that my legs work so that I even have the option to run? Not a chance. Not today anyway.
I have PMS.
Add to that, I have adult onset acne. Not diagnosed by a dermatologist, but by myself. For three months straight, I have had zits all over my nose, chin and cheeks. I look like a pubescent nerd. Oh, except for the reading glasses I had to buy so I could work on the computer. I look like a middle-aged, pubescent nerd. Is there such a thing? If there is, I'm it. There should be a LAW against having acne and reading glasses. If we have to get old and blind, for the love of Pete, we should at least get to have clear skin. There should always be trade-offs on this kind of thing. Like girls with flat chests are often thin and look good in spaghetti straps, whereas, big saggy-boobed girls like me don't really gain much weight in their butts and thighs. It's a trade-off. Someone needs to remind God that zits do not belong on the face of an old lady. Be thankful that I can afford to buy zit creme by the bucket? Not a chance. Not today.
I'm also potty-training Reese. Or trying. If I let her be naked, she will try to go in the potty. If I put panties on her, she will tee-tee in them IMMEDIATELY, even if she just got off the potty. Oh, yeah, did I mention the turds? Turds, apparently, only belong on the floor. That seems to be her belief, anyway. I'm tired of picking up turds. And washing pants. And I still have a third one to go through this with. Be thankful that I have three beautiful kids when some people can't even have one? Not a chance. Not today.
I thought I deserved a diet Coke break. Maybe even a mint-creme Oreo to go with it. Two sips into the Coke, I spot one of the stray turds. I get up to grab it before Rhett can get to it and Reese zeroes in on the diet Coke. Getting a drink of my Coke is fine if she asks. She didn't ask. But I was too busy looking for poop to really care. Until she knocked an entire diet Coke off onto the floor. And didn't pick it up. And didn't tell me that she spilled it. Or that Rhett was on the floor. Crawling in diet Coke. So much for a break. Be thankful that I can afford to buy diet Coke when some people have to beg for water? Not a chance. Not today.
Ok, so I really am thankful for all the good things in my life. But if it's all the same to you, I'm going to be grumpy today. And not say one positive thing to or about anyone. It's my blog and I'll cry if I want to.

No comments: