If you currently have or ever have had a 4-year-old (excuse me, 4 and a half), these conversation notes will not come as any real surprise. However, since Avery is my first child, I am still rather shocked and amazed at the things that come out of her mouth. Some of these resulted in her getting in trouble and some of them just made me laugh. I'll let you decide which ones.
Avery: Mom, your ribbon thing is broken.
Me: I know. I'll have to ask Dad to fix it.
Avery: Dad can fix everything, can't he?
Me: Yeah, pretty much. He's a pretty good guy.
Avery: Yeah, he's pretty great. You should marry him.
Me: Well, honey, I did marry him.
Avery: Oh. Yeah. Well, you made a great choice, Mom.
Avery: Mom, why did we have to go to Pa Pa's to buy him a suit?
Me: Well, sometimes boys have a hard time picking out clothes and he just asked Momma to help him.
Avery: I think that's not a good idea, Mom. Pa Pa's house is so far and now I'm tired and he should just pick out his own clothes.
Me: We were being nice and helping him. He's getting married and he needs some help to get ready. And it's not that far. Going to Grammy's is much farther.
Avery: Now, I know that's not right, Mom. When we go to Grammy's, I just watch movies and I know Pa Pa's house is a lot farther.
Me: Pa Pa lives 2 hours away and Grammy lives 5 hours away. The difference is that I forgot to bring the DVD player, so you are bored.
Avery: (mumbling) I sure wish I had a mom who didn't forget so much stuff. Then I could be happy all the time.
Avery: Mom, can you make me eggs for breakfast?
Me: You don't like eggs.
Avery: I love eggs!
Me: You never eat them when I make them for you.
Avery: Well, if you will make them like they are at the mall on the playground (two, big plastic fried eggs) then I will like them. I like them when they are just white and those two yellow things.
Me: So you want fried eggs? And you'll eat every bite if I make them?
Avery: Oh yes, Momma, I will totally eat them because those are my favorite kind.
.....10 minutes later.....
Avery: Mom, I don't really like this kind of eggs.
Me: (Exasperated sigh) Good grief, Avery!
Avery: Well, you shouldn't have had three kids.
Me: What in the world does that have to do with anything?
Avery: If you didn't have so many kids, you wouldn't be frustrated. Three kids is hard work.
This next one occurred in the drive-through line at Arby's. We were there for literally 20 minutes. I'm not sure what the problem was, but we were all frustrated.
Avery: What in the world is taking so long?
Me: I have no idea. That same car has been up there for 10 minutes.
Avery: Just honk at 'em.
Me: I can't, Ave. That's rude.
Avery: Mom, you honk at people all the time when they are being bad drivers. Just honk at that guy because he's in the way too much.
That's all for now...but I'm sure, not forever!