Reese just asked me for a piece of gum. "The green kind," she tells me. I think to myself that she always spits the green kind out, but whatever. I'll indulge her. As I hand the open piece to her, she says "Momma, I want you to give it to me when it's little." I tear off a little piece and try to hand that to her. "No, Momma, eat it and then give it to me." "What? You want me to chew it first?" I ask her. "Yeah, eat it and then it will be mine," she says. "Why? Why would you want me to chew it first?" I ask her. "So it won't be so hot. I like it when you eat it until it's not hot anymore and then it can be mine," she says.
And, as gross and weird as it sounds, I did it. I chewed the gum up until the intial "kick" has worn off and hand it to her. She skips off, completely oblivious to the fact that she's chewing old, ABC gum.
Oh well, I guess it could be worse. At least I'm not chewing worms to spit in her mouth.