Ok, maybe these won't be funny to you. I'm sure not all of them will tickle your funny bone, but I don't have much to write about (but we're going to watch the elephants set up the circus tent this morning and we're having a patio poured next week so get ready!) and I've been laughing out loud at some members of my family. Sometimes they are funny without even trying! Here are just a few of the conversations that had me giggling....
Husband: Honey, were there Tic Tacs in the banana sack?
Husband: Were there Tic Tacs in the banana sack?
Me: (giggling) I have no idea what you mean.
Husband: (Slightly irritated and baffled as to why I'm laughing.) Was there a box of Tic Tacs in the sack with the bananas that I brought home today?
Me: (Laughing out loud) Oh my gosh. I had no idea what you were trying to say. I thought you were talking about something dirty.
Husband: You are very weird. And sick. (Sadly, he is so right.)
Note: I will try to work "Tic Tacs in a banana sack" into my daily conversations. It rolls right off the tongue...and it could be dirty, which makes it funny.
Background info for this one: My friend, Erin and I have had our run of bad luck in the herpes department lately. She has had one cold sore after another and I've had weird sores on my tongue and gums. I believe they are completely unrelated, but we were discussing it and it reminded me of the Seinfeld episode where Elaine wanted "The Sidler" to chew gum or something. He said "Can't. Burns my cankers," and I find that hysterical. So, when Erin comes over, we like to say things about certain foods or drink burning the cankers, mocking "The Sidler." Little ears are always listening....
Avery: Mom, I have a cranker in my mouth.
Me: What's a cranker?
Avery: You know, a cranker. In my mouth.
Me: I'm not sure what you mean.
Avery: I have a cranker like you and Erin always have. You know, when you can't eat stuff because it burns your crankers?
Note: If my sweet friend does, in fact, move to Boulder as planned, at least Avery and I will always have "crankers" to remember her by.
Conversations with Reese:
Me: Reese, get back in the kitchen with those crackers.
Reese: I don't like you either! (this is always said in a surprisingly hateful tone for someone so small and cute.)
Me: Reese Olivia, get yourself back into the kitchen and don't you dare talk to me that way.
Reese: I don't like you either!
Me: Hand me the crackers. You are going to time out. That is so ugly to talk that way.
Reese: (from the time out spot, crying) I don't like you either.
Me: Go to your room. Not another word from you until you can be a sweet girl.
Reese: Sorry, Momma.
Me: Thank you. Now go to your room and think about how you need to talk like a sweet girl.
Reese: I don't like you either!
Reese: Momma, can I have snack?
Me: No, baby, Momma's making dinner.
Reese: (a bit louder) Momma, can I have a snack?
Me: No, Honey, you can have something after dinner though.
Reese: I DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER!
Avery: (toots loudly) Mom, I tooted.
Me: I noticed. Did you say excuse me?
Avery: It's just me and you here.
Me: Yeah, but if you toot in front of someone you need to say excuse me.
Avery: Ok. Mom? Can you feel it when you toot?
Me: You mean, do I feel it when you toot? Only if you're on my lap.
Avery: NO, MOM! Can you feel it when YOU let toots?
Me: Well...sure. I mean, yeah, I think everyone can.
Avery: That's pretty funny, huh, Mom?
Me: Yeah, I guess so. God has a good sense of humor.
Avery: Yeah. Totally. God is funny about toots.
I think this is what Eckhart Tolle (Author of A New Earth) had in mind when he talks about living in the moment. Enjoy the little things...even toots.