Doctor's Visit

Are you sick of hearing about my armpit infection yet? Ok great because I have more. Saturday was my third doctor's appointment this week. I had to go back for another checkup because Tuesday's checkup didn't go so well and they needed to see me again. Saturday's checkup went much better. Actually, there was bad news and good news, but the good news was so good, I kind of forgot about the bad. I'll give you the bad news first and then you can forget about it just like I did.

The bad news is just that one of my, um, sores is a bit worse and therefore had to be re-opened and drained again. It didn't hurt that bad though, because he numbed it a lot. And even the numbing wasn't as excruciating this time. He also refilled my current antibiotic and gave me another antibiotic. So now I'm on two. And the really bad news is that if, within 3 days, I'm not significantly better, my only option left is IV medication. But I'm optimistic.

But the good news was so great, I really don't even care much about the bad news. First of all, off the record, he told me that, while some antibiotics are affected by alcohol, the ones I'm on are not. So I can have a little drink. And then, he went REALLY off the record and sort of "let it slip" that it wasn't going to hurt me to have maybe even more than one little drink. Even though I'm on Vicodin for the pain. He actually said "Well, that's completely off the record. I'm not telling you to go drink today. But since you mentioned that the Vicodin wasn't really that powerful for you, the alcohol and Vicodin may actually complement each other. Just be careful because it would be easy to overdo it." WOO HOOOOOOO!!! Oh yeah, baby! Oh, I mean, yes sir. I'm a responsible mother of three. I would never abuse a drug or alcohol, so you have nothing to worry about. You can trust me with this information.

The next piece of information is so hilarious, I almost think he told me this just to see if I would fall for it. He said, as he taped gauze pads over my most recent incision, "I don't like taping in sensitive areas like this. You know what works the best? And I know it sounds crazy, but it's true. Just stick the sticky side of a maxi pad to the inside of your t-shirt. That way you don't have anything sticking to your skin, but you still have a place for your abscess to drain."

For those of you who know me, you are aware that all of this information was just what I needed to entertain our friends and family while we watched the OU/Texas game Saturday afternoon. I came home, mixed myself a not-too-stout vodka tonic, popped a Vicodin (my arm really did hurt) and slapped a maxi pad under my arm and showed it to anyone who looked in my direction. How's that for turning lemons into lemonade?

(P.S. To Mom and anyone else who is worried that I may become addicted to the Vicodin/vodka combo. The doctor asked me if I needed a Vicodin refill and I said no because the pain was starting to get much better. See? I'm a responsible person after all.)