Next Top Model

When I ask to take Avery's picture, I have to force her to smile. I can't catch Rhett long enough to get a good one. But Reese? Ah, sweet Reesie...she loooooooves to have her picture taken. In fact, all I have to do is hold up a camera and say "Say Cheese!" and this is what I get:

Somebody call Tyra!

How Do I Keep a Straight Face?

Reese has a dentist appointment this morning. It's just for a regular check-up and cleaning, but the last time we were there, the dentist told her that, if she didn't stop sucking her fingers, we'd have to put a mouth guard in. We've tried everything: threats, bribes, wearing a glove on one hand, appealing to her vanity and explaining what it does to her teeth, etc. Nothing works. I'm afraid the mouth guard is inevitable. Probably not today, but I bet he suggests it today. Aaron and I discussed it last night, just wondering how much something like that costs. We thought we were talking privately, but apparently not.
I reminded Reese this morning that we had a dentist appointment and she started sobbing and sucking her fingers. I said "You love the dentist. Why are you crying?" She could barely get these words out: "I don't want a lifeguard in my mouth!"
How am I NOT supposed to laugh at that? I had to hug her and bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud.

Let's all cross our fingers that the "lifeguard" isn't necessary and if it is necessary, that it's not a gazillion dollars. Thanks!

Do NOT Trust This Face

Look very carefully at this face. Behind that sweet smile and those angelic blue eyes is a mischevious little monster. He is running me ragged lately and seems to take great pleasure in doing so. I had to run after him for a good 5 minutes, even getting his sisters involved in the chase to get this picture of him. This is what I kept getting:




You wanna know what finally got him to stop? I told him he could look at the camera and say "TOOTIE!"
Any potty words will stop him in his tracks. In fact, here is a conversation that proves everything I've said thus far:

Rhett: Mom, I wuff you.
Mom: I love you too, Baby.
Rhett: And I wuff Daddy. And Avery. And Reesie.
Mom: We all love you too.
Rhett: AND I WUFF POOP!

He risks this, knowing he will be in trouble and have to sit in time out for talking about poop when nobody is pooping, needs to poop or just pooped. Poop is an off limits topic in general conversation around here and he knows it. And he doesn't care. It's worth it to him. He'd sit in time out all day if he could yell about poop and tee-tee and booties and toots. Yep, he's running me ragged. And I love every minute of it!

Post 2

Our hot water tank broke last night. Even the valve that shuts off the hot water broke in Aaron's hand when he tried to turn it off. At one point, we had our garden hose running up to the attic (where the tank is) and out the back door to drain into the yard instead of into our closet vent, which was where it all began.
Besides the fact that we have no water at all this morning and I have a dentist appointment at 1:00, which means I go to the dentist wearing a ball cap because I can't shower, I've been pretty upbeat through the whole thing. This morning, I actually amazed myself with my own ingenuity - I had to go to the bathroom. I mean really go to the bathroom. I mean...well, you probably get it. And I have neighborhood friends, but I just don't know how to call them and ask if I can come over and USE their bathroom, if you know what I mean (I think we have established that you know what I mean). So, you know what I did? I went to our neighbor's and filled up a bucket with water from their hose. And used that bucket of water to flush the toilet. I considered filling it up again and again, heating it on the stove and filling the bathtub with water so I could at least be clean at the dentist today. But then I woke up from that daydream, realized I wasn't Laura Ingalls, and threw on the ballcap. The dentist can just smell me all afternoon...that's what he gets for charging me $1200 to torture me by grinding down my tooth and putting a new crown on!
Monday rocks!!!!

If I Were President...

I found this in Avery's notebook this weekend. In case you aren't well versed in first grade writing, I'll translate, based on how she explained them to me.





If I were president, I would "I want everyone well." (This is kind of a Miss America answer, don't you think? "I wish for world peace.")
I would also "Sleep with my mom every night." (Do you think President Obama ever wished for this when he was a kid?)
But I would not "forget about Mrs. Seddighi." (Her teacher)
One thing I would change would be "we could stay home." (That's my honor student!)
I would never want to change "Keep this playground." (Again with the academic avoidance.)

I love that her teacher wrote "You make me smile." That's exactly what I thought when I read it - especially since she's bald in her self-portrait. I guess even a 6-year-old recognizes the stress of the presidency!

And your name is?

Rhett found a friend at the playground today. As the little boy started to leave, Rhett chased after him. I had to go after him to make sure he didn't leave with his new friend. I said "Rhett, where do you think you are going?" He responded, "Wis my friend. I play wis my friend." I asked him what the little boy's name is and Rhett said, "He name is....he name is....he name is...Brown Boy."

Brown Boy. I've never met someone named Brown Boy, have you? This particular child was technically brown but I feel certain that's not what his parents call him. I also hope that Rhett doesn't walk up to other kids and say things like, "Hey Brown Boy! You play wis me?"

Goofballs!

I have no idea why, but the girls have taken to wearing Rhett's pajamas to bed. It's not really as noticeable on Reese and Rhett, but how Avery is able to sleep comfortably in them is beyond me.

The Easter Bunny

The jig is up...on the Easter Bunny, that is. Avery informed me two nights ago that the Easter Bunny isn't real. The conversation went something like this:

Me, responding to something she was begging for: Well, maybe the Easter Bunny will bring it to you. Easter is next weekend.

Avery: Mom, I know the Easter Bunny is you.

Me: What? Why would you say that?

Avery: Because I think it is. Isn't it?

Me: Did someone tell you that?

Avery: No. I figured it out myself. They don't make bunnies that big. It would have to be a guy in a big bunny suit. Plus, it doesn't even make sense. Santa comes down the chimney because he's magic. How is a bunny going to come down our chimney? Bunnies aren't magic. That doesn't make any sense at all. I just think it can't be real.

Me, totally relieved that she still believes in Santa: Uh, well, you are right. I think what happened is, people saw how much little kids like Santa Claus, so they wanted to do something else. And, since bunnies are around in the springtime and Easter is a springtime holiday, they just created a bunny to bring kids fun stuff and hide their eggs. But you're right. It's just Mom and Dad.

Avery: Yeah, that's why we get a whole bunch of stuff from Santa, but just a little bit from the Easter Bunny.

Me: Sure. It would be very hard to do what Santa does.

Avery: Yeah. Plus, Santa lives at the North Pole. Where does the Easter Bunny even live?

Me: Hmmm...good point.

Avery: See? Told you it didn't make any sense.

Me: You have to promise not to say anything to the little ones. They are still very excited about the bunny. But between you and me, Easter is really only about Jesus. The other stuff is just for little kids.

Avery: Well, at least Santa is real.

Me, sadly inside my head: Yeah. At least we still have Santa.